Things I'm not afraid of right now but probably will be at the appropriate time
Inuits.
Ebb tides.
Gravity.
Haunted mirrors.
Salmon farms.
Chess prodigies.
Freaked
(formerly known as UKTV Drugs)
8pm: Top Gear: Clarkson, Hammond and May test drive the latest turbo-driven steroids.
9pm: Rosemary & Thyme: Felicity Kendal and Pam Ferris tear through formal gardens in search of a legal high. This week: Vita Sackville West's Sissinghurst Castle Garden.
10pm: Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. Divvying up the stash, the foul-mouthed Scot sneezes and the candy goes everywhere.
11pm: Cash In The Attic. Ex-tennis star Pat Cash sees out a bad trip hiding from the bad men in the loft.
Things I thought would be cute but turned out to be really annoying
Your kitten.
Your mole.
Your piccolo practice.
Your familiarity with property law.
Things I thought would be annoying but turned out to be really cute
Your sister.
Proverbs and Sayings
Advice offered by Health and Safety Executive
- A rolling stone gathers no moss.
(Wear steel-capped boots in all vertiginous quarry situations.)
- A watched pot never boils.
(However, tepid tea leaves no scars.)
- Laughter is the best medicine.
(Medicine is the best medicine.)
- Trust not a horse's heel nor a dog's tooth.
(Avoid all roadside hot dog stands unless officially licensed by an appropriate authority.)
- Tall oaks grow from little acorns.
(Stand well clear and contact designated Risk Manager.)
The Beatles if Harriet Harman ruled the world
John
Paula
Georgia
Ringo
Just So stories, Rudyard Kipling never published
- How the cat developed a chip on its shoulder and plotted revenge.
- How the polar bear evolved a prosperous image rights consultancy.
- How the three-toed sloth grew weary of the constant derogatory comments about its application to the task in hand.
Things worth seizing
The day.
The moment.
The means of production.
The initiative.
The remote control.
