Things that would work better marketed as a honey nut cluster
Tamiflu
Body Shop seaweed pore cleansing facial exfoliator
Sugababes
Emmerdale
Bob Dylan songs in the form of Jeremy Kyle programme themes
Abandoned Love
Groom's Still Waiting At The Altar
Honey, Just Allow Me One More Chance
I Am A Lonesome Hobo
Only A Pawn In Their Game
The Weight
Ugliest Girl In The World
Areas of attention that my ex-girlfriend said may need some slight adjustment
Everything I say
Everything I do
Everything I eat
Everything I wear
That thing I do with my arm
Shapes that were rejected by Oxo before they decided to go for the x-shaped block and reasons for rejection
1. Tessaract. Not possible in the three dimensional world.
2. Dodecadhedron. Name wouldn't fit on the pack.
3. Widescreen. Oxo not HD ready.
4. Meerkat. We thought of it first, dammit.
Tony Soprano's morning routine
Wake up
Get myself a gun
Answers to the Rorschach inkblot tests
1. Devil
2. Devil
3. Devil
4. Devil
5. Former PE teacher Mr Graham "Handsy" Hanson.
6. Devil
Substances found on the surface of complimentary pub peanuts
Sweat
Urine
Beer
Korma
Blue Stratos
Turpentine
Things I might find in the Land Of The Lost
Umbrella
Sunglasses
Ambition
Direction
Respect of my peers
A belief in a benign force greater than myself whose grand vision
encompasses a not insignificant role for me.
