Hamlet's psyche test answers
1. To be.
2. Statement (b) is nobler than statement (a)
3. Fig (a) Hawk. Fig (b) Handsaw
4. Insania by Peter Andre
Captions from classic Punch pocket cartoons (1840-90)
"That'll be the third time the gaslight has flared on a Thursday,
Cecil. Do something."
"I only speak quickly, my darling, because time is not on our side."
"You may inquire, m'lud, but the ensuing confusion may bring
proceedings to an unscheduled halt."
Gordon Brown's favourite Kinks tracks
I'm Not Like Everybody Else
Ev'rybody's Gonna Be Happy
Where Have All The Good Times Gone
Dead End Street
You Still Want Me
Proverbs and Sayings
Things other than fire that you could fight fire with:
Water
Foam
Dry powder
Carbon dioxide
Angel hair pasta
Paul McCartney's early morning routine
7.30am. Wake up.
7.45am. Get out of bed.
7.50am. Drag a comb across my head.
Rampant Thesaurus goes to the movies
"Without beating about the bush, beloved, I'm not inclined to proffer
two hoots."
"Definitely returning, that's me!"
"Are you pursuing a conversation with the intention of engaging
myself? Are you pursuing a conversation with the intention of
engaging myself? Are you pursuing a conversation with the intention
of engaging myself? Because I'll be jiggered if I can identify
another soul to whom you could be directing your remarks."
Things you have mixed feelings about hearing from a complete stranger with whom you are trapped in an office lift.
1. "I only nipped out to go to the... uh oh."
2. "No, actually, this is good because we never really had a chance
to discuss what happened at Janice's party last year."
3. "I have an axe in my brief case if it comes to that."
– First published in The Wharf on July 30
