David Cameron calls for more commercial movie-making. And as if by magic, following this grand utterance, a giant light bulb illuminates above the head of the directors of Hedgehogs At Dawn and Munchbubble The Shoemaker and they down tools and make The Young Wizard and The Young Wizard II: Dance-Off At T'Pithead instead.
No-one knows what will be commercially successful. Indeed, "Nobody knows anything," according to scriptwriter William Goldman.
The King's Speech wasn't singled out as a potential blockbuster and the line of surprise box office British hits stretches further than a queue of redundant Sheffield steelworkers.
If the BFI finds itself buckling and ticking the funding box that says: "Likely mainstream success?" then just about everyone is working on a false prospectus, crossing their fingers like the National Lottery logo with a bad case of Dupuytren's contracture.
Cameron should take heed of that shiny chap who said once: "Some say that to succeed we need to become more like India, China or Brazil. I say that we need to become more like us."
Which is also the view of former culture secretary Lord Smith's new paper on the industry.
His panel called for more to be done to "re-establish the brand of British film".
Lord Smith said he was "not trying to dictate an artistic vision".
"We advocate support for the widest possible range of films from the overtly commercial to the overtly arty and much in between."
Among some enlightened measures was a further move against privacy. Overhyped 3D is one such measure. Much cheaper is an assault on the mobile phone.
The biggest threat to the cinema is that glaring mini-screen and its gabbling owner that have made cinemas a ghastly place to be.
The chains allow customers to sit there, unchallenged doing anything they like (check Facebook, bootleg the action, upload to YouTube).
Until they police their own auditoriums, the multiplexes will be complicit in their own demise.
