As the unions wrangle to get back their party from the Blairites - threatening to oust the Progress group from within its ranks - it is clear that the left-right tussle continues, two decades after New Labour came to prominence.
Last night, a revelation cast new light on the rightward bias of that revolutionary triumvirate of Blair, Campbell and Mandelson.
Former director of strategy and Blairite torch-bearer Alistair Campbell, launching the fourth instalment of his delicious diaries at the Mile End Group, revealed his bias is inherent and visceral.
He affirmed that his right leg was shorter than his left, requiring insoles to keep him walking in a straight line. If his audience at Queen Mary University Of London doubted his word - perish the thought - he removed his shoes and aired the devices.
Unassisted by artifice, it was clear that Campbell naturally veers to the right. The battle for the heart and sole of the Labour Party was won.
Saturday, 23 June 2012
Stage review: The History Boys, Greenwich Theatre
STAGE
The History Boys
Greenwich Theatre
★★★✩✩
IN A NUTSHELL
Alan Bennett's gloriously robust examination of the purposes of education gets a welcome revival.
REVIEW
I had a thought on leaving this buzzy production of Alan Bennett's classroom classic. I overheard the same thought from a genteel and mature lady who was airing her views forcefully to her son who seemed embarrassed by his generation and its crass liberties.
The History Boys is about education - education for life versus education for exams - but it is most particularly, pointedly and repeatedly about sexual predation by older men of younger boys.
Alan Bennett rather likes, one suspects, scattering the tea cups and overturning plates of battenberg that are the motifs and shackles of his status as a national treasure.
Fun stuff, but, ultimately, it all becomes overbearing and weary.
Especially when overtly heterosexual Dakin is prepared to venture over the border just to say thanks to a closet teacher where an apple or a nice card would seem commensurate with the scale of the exchange.
The film of The History Boys sidesteps quantities of this obtrusive lust (save the grope that is instrumental to the plot) and does a better job of creating convincing character and argument.
The other thing - and I fear that I may irretrievably cast myself as the soul mate of the outraged blue rinse - is that Bennett rather too often uses swear words as punchlines.
Now I have no problem with swear words as punchlines but here it is as if Bennett looks in his box of tricks and spots a nice, plump four-letter doozy and thinks "that'll please the stalls".
He is such a mellifluous and compelling writer and his arguments prowl the stage with such an air of delicious danger that it seems a shame he doesn't believe we demand more.
Why win a grin with a witty riposte when a C-bomb does the damage.
This is no way to disparage this serviceable revival of the play which sees a bunch of northern prospects put through their paces to land a place at Oxbridge.
They become caught in a tug-of-war between cynic Irwin and romantic Hector and that, and the precocity of the lads, is where the fun is to be had.
Marcus Taylor as the head steals most of the laughs but there are commendable displays all round from the talented and committed ensemble.
Until June 24. Go to greenwichtheatre.co.uk.
The History Boys
Greenwich Theatre
★★★✩✩
IN A NUTSHELL
Alan Bennett's gloriously robust examination of the purposes of education gets a welcome revival.
REVIEW
I had a thought on leaving this buzzy production of Alan Bennett's classroom classic. I overheard the same thought from a genteel and mature lady who was airing her views forcefully to her son who seemed embarrassed by his generation and its crass liberties.
The History Boys is about education - education for life versus education for exams - but it is most particularly, pointedly and repeatedly about sexual predation by older men of younger boys.
Alan Bennett rather likes, one suspects, scattering the tea cups and overturning plates of battenberg that are the motifs and shackles of his status as a national treasure.
Fun stuff, but, ultimately, it all becomes overbearing and weary.
Especially when overtly heterosexual Dakin is prepared to venture over the border just to say thanks to a closet teacher where an apple or a nice card would seem commensurate with the scale of the exchange.
The film of The History Boys sidesteps quantities of this obtrusive lust (save the grope that is instrumental to the plot) and does a better job of creating convincing character and argument.
The other thing - and I fear that I may irretrievably cast myself as the soul mate of the outraged blue rinse - is that Bennett rather too often uses swear words as punchlines.
Now I have no problem with swear words as punchlines but here it is as if Bennett looks in his box of tricks and spots a nice, plump four-letter doozy and thinks "that'll please the stalls".
He is such a mellifluous and compelling writer and his arguments prowl the stage with such an air of delicious danger that it seems a shame he doesn't believe we demand more.
Why win a grin with a witty riposte when a C-bomb does the damage.
This is no way to disparage this serviceable revival of the play which sees a bunch of northern prospects put through their paces to land a place at Oxbridge.
They become caught in a tug-of-war between cynic Irwin and romantic Hector and that, and the precocity of the lads, is where the fun is to be had.
Marcus Taylor as the head steals most of the laughs but there are commendable displays all round from the talented and committed ensemble.
Until June 24. Go to greenwichtheatre.co.uk.
Too near the knuckle for comfort
Among the cacophony of nuisances that peck at my brain and fell me, kicking and (silently) screaming from the land of suspended disbelief this was a new one on me. A new form of torture.
I have ranted, not necessarily originally but with sincere vehemence, about the ubiquitous mobile phone lighting up auditoriums like Christmas trees.
I have despaired at the inability of people to let babysitters, secretaries, West Ham, do their jobs without intervention from self-absorbed so-and-so's who consider the phone to be solely an instrument of posy self-aggrandisement.
I have gnashed my teeth and rent my garments over the driving, selfish desire of people to attend performances on a highlight-only, need-to-know basis - that is, darting in and out of the foyer to take and make calls while they presume the action on stage or screen is flagging.
I have said many times and in many ways that hell is other people and there are lots of other people in theatres. And they all thinking that hiding a phone in the lap eliminates the glow from the screen (it doesn't, people, it just doesn't) or that boiled sweets are best unwrapped s-l-ow-l-y or that we all want to know that they know how it's going to end.
But this one, during a performance of The History Boys at Greenwich Theatre, entered a new realm of temple-thwacking, granny-kicking madness.
To the left of me, an obsessive (always the worst). His obsession was cracking his knuckles. Relentlessly. Seriously. And he had, like most of us, 10 digits so it was a Forth Bridge of a job - crack, pop, crack, pop. He harvested the joint relief from one round before promptly starting on the next.
He was young so my only revenge is the sure knowledge of his early on-set arthritis. A mixed blessing, of course, because, while he will be deprived of the ability to play Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No.2 at the Albert Hall (tee hee), I will be similarly deprived of the ability to ruin his performance with a bubble-wrap and yoga marathon in the front row.
But knuckle-cracking, like yawning, appears to be contagious. To the right of me, a Facebook-lugging loon began work on his own clattering paws. Less fruitful than the gibbon to my left, he took to extraordinary feats of contortion to earn his "pop".
Fingers yanked back till they were paled and bloodless. Or bent till they were twisted like a foetus. He strained. I strained. We both hung on for the sweet joy of release.
In the end, the whole performance was like a Castanet Convention in Madrid. Imagine the noise the skeletons made while skewering Jason and the Argonauts. Or the timpani of butchers in Smithfield as they collapse a pig by hand. It was that. A whole performance delivered in Morse by tricky-fingered haters.
giles.broadbent@wharf.co.uk
I have ranted, not necessarily originally but with sincere vehemence, about the ubiquitous mobile phone lighting up auditoriums like Christmas trees.
I have despaired at the inability of people to let babysitters, secretaries, West Ham, do their jobs without intervention from self-absorbed so-and-so's who consider the phone to be solely an instrument of posy self-aggrandisement.
I have gnashed my teeth and rent my garments over the driving, selfish desire of people to attend performances on a highlight-only, need-to-know basis - that is, darting in and out of the foyer to take and make calls while they presume the action on stage or screen is flagging.
I have said many times and in many ways that hell is other people and there are lots of other people in theatres. And they all thinking that hiding a phone in the lap eliminates the glow from the screen (it doesn't, people, it just doesn't) or that boiled sweets are best unwrapped s-l-ow-l-y or that we all want to know that they know how it's going to end.
But this one, during a performance of The History Boys at Greenwich Theatre, entered a new realm of temple-thwacking, granny-kicking madness.
To the left of me, an obsessive (always the worst). His obsession was cracking his knuckles. Relentlessly. Seriously. And he had, like most of us, 10 digits so it was a Forth Bridge of a job - crack, pop, crack, pop. He harvested the joint relief from one round before promptly starting on the next.
He was young so my only revenge is the sure knowledge of his early on-set arthritis. A mixed blessing, of course, because, while he will be deprived of the ability to play Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No.2 at the Albert Hall (tee hee), I will be similarly deprived of the ability to ruin his performance with a bubble-wrap and yoga marathon in the front row.
But knuckle-cracking, like yawning, appears to be contagious. To the right of me, a Facebook-lugging loon began work on his own clattering paws. Less fruitful than the gibbon to my left, he took to extraordinary feats of contortion to earn his "pop".
Fingers yanked back till they were paled and bloodless. Or bent till they were twisted like a foetus. He strained. I strained. We both hung on for the sweet joy of release.
In the end, the whole performance was like a Castanet Convention in Madrid. Imagine the noise the skeletons made while skewering Jason and the Argonauts. Or the timpani of butchers in Smithfield as they collapse a pig by hand. It was that. A whole performance delivered in Morse by tricky-fingered haters.
giles.broadbent@wharf.co.uk
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Food review: Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecote
FRENCH
Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecote
Mackenzie Walk
★★★★✩
IN A NUTSHELL
Should be a perfect marriage: cut-above steak and chips delivered in style - and quickly - in a French brasserie setting.
REVIEW
So if Gordon Ramsay were here, in my nightmare, bellowing about my failing rest- aurant, he would be saying that 53 items on the menu is not variety, it's lack of confidence, and how could I possibly produce deep impaled garlic butter snails with a lettuce foam and wild mushroom and venison stroganoff with a thyme brush tickle out of the same kitchen with the same clapped-out crew?
And I would be all like, "I'm just burnt out, chef" and "we're just haemorrhaging money. We can't afford to cook fresh."
And he'd yank me out of the walk-in where I'm hiding and shout: "You can't afford not to."
Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecote has the confidence and brio of Paris so it's not like that. It's the opposite of that.
It does one thing, it does it well, it does it all the time and if you don't like the thing it does then (a) you had your taste buds numbed by too many Zoom ice lollies or (b) you should take up finger painting or whatever because there's not enough joy in your life.
(Note how I'm filling for time. None of that "my companion plumped for A while I sampled the natty little B" schtick. Let's face it, we had steak and chips. That's kinda the point.)
Here's the big idea, which has worked well in the City, worked well in New York and has now come to Canary Wharf.
One set menu, one price (£21), no reservations, all done and dusted in under an hour. But not fast food - steady food, consistent food, loved food.
It goes like this: a green salad with walnuts dressed with mustard vinaigrette followed by steak frites with a secret recipe sauce - served half now, half later so the frites stay crispy and the steaks stay hot.
Yes, there are bits and pieces around the edges - wine, or dessert and coffee - but essentially it's a take-it-or-leave-it deal. Vegetarians are catered for but nominally because "entrecote" is a premium cut of beef, dummy, so veggies only need Babelfish and a brain cell to get the message.
It's all about the steaks - British, grass-fed, mature, aged for four weeks before cooking - and nestling, between demi-courses, on candle-heated silver trays. And - wow - if red velvet cupcakes evolved into happy ruminants, their meat would taste like this.
Brisk doesn't mean unwelcoming. Take the setting - the French brasserie interiors with wood panels, banquette seating and jaunty paintings.
Best of all, the uniformed waitresses, giving a Downton Abbey feel - it's an incongruous through-the-looking-glass antidote to zombie Wharf.
So who comes here? We're guessing you wouldn't take a new client - you'd want reservations and clean cutlery between courses to impress.
But when Bob's down from the Bolton office and you have some leeway on the expenses and Bob doesn't get into town that often then Bob's in for a rare treat.
I envy Bob.
Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecote, 18-20 Mackenzie Walk, 020 3475 3331, relaisdevenise.com
© First published in The Wharf on June 11, 2012
Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecote
Mackenzie Walk
★★★★✩
IN A NUTSHELL
Should be a perfect marriage: cut-above steak and chips delivered in style - and quickly - in a French brasserie setting.
REVIEW
So if Gordon Ramsay were here, in my nightmare, bellowing about my failing rest- aurant, he would be saying that 53 items on the menu is not variety, it's lack of confidence, and how could I possibly produce deep impaled garlic butter snails with a lettuce foam and wild mushroom and venison stroganoff with a thyme brush tickle out of the same kitchen with the same clapped-out crew?
And I would be all like, "I'm just burnt out, chef" and "we're just haemorrhaging money. We can't afford to cook fresh."
And he'd yank me out of the walk-in where I'm hiding and shout: "You can't afford not to."
Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecote has the confidence and brio of Paris so it's not like that. It's the opposite of that.
It does one thing, it does it well, it does it all the time and if you don't like the thing it does then (a) you had your taste buds numbed by too many Zoom ice lollies or (b) you should take up finger painting or whatever because there's not enough joy in your life.
(Note how I'm filling for time. None of that "my companion plumped for A while I sampled the natty little B" schtick. Let's face it, we had steak and chips. That's kinda the point.)
Here's the big idea, which has worked well in the City, worked well in New York and has now come to Canary Wharf.
One set menu, one price (£21), no reservations, all done and dusted in under an hour. But not fast food - steady food, consistent food, loved food.
It goes like this: a green salad with walnuts dressed with mustard vinaigrette followed by steak frites with a secret recipe sauce - served half now, half later so the frites stay crispy and the steaks stay hot.
Yes, there are bits and pieces around the edges - wine, or dessert and coffee - but essentially it's a take-it-or-leave-it deal. Vegetarians are catered for but nominally because "entrecote" is a premium cut of beef, dummy, so veggies only need Babelfish and a brain cell to get the message.
It's all about the steaks - British, grass-fed, mature, aged for four weeks before cooking - and nestling, between demi-courses, on candle-heated silver trays. And - wow - if red velvet cupcakes evolved into happy ruminants, their meat would taste like this.
Brisk doesn't mean unwelcoming. Take the setting - the French brasserie interiors with wood panels, banquette seating and jaunty paintings.
Best of all, the uniformed waitresses, giving a Downton Abbey feel - it's an incongruous through-the-looking-glass antidote to zombie Wharf.
So who comes here? We're guessing you wouldn't take a new client - you'd want reservations and clean cutlery between courses to impress.
But when Bob's down from the Bolton office and you have some leeway on the expenses and Bob doesn't get into town that often then Bob's in for a rare treat.
I envy Bob.
Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecote, 18-20 Mackenzie Walk, 020 3475 3331, relaisdevenise.com
© First published in The Wharf on June 11, 2012
The king of solo dining
I misread a headline today and came up with an idea and a business plan. The idea was OK, the business would be catastrophic but in case anyone pulls it off, you read it here first.
The headline read "The King Of Soho Dining" but, perhaps with Freud on my shoulder, I read, The King Of Solo Dining.
Now there's an idea, I thought (only mildly miffed because, by dint of the article, it was already out there, earning column inches).
Solo dining. More particularly specialist establishments for same. What would such places look like? Who would they attract?
The crude entrepreneur untutored in the ways of the cheerily non-gregarious would perhaps configure the place like a networking event. Or operate a "dining partner by happenstance" policy.
He would see singles events. He would run happy hours and operate a gaudy menu of cocktails. He would run the place like a double-glazing convention in Sutton Coldfield.
The wise entrepreneur (me, inevitably, in this scenario) would make tables for one not tables for two-with-one-missing. Crescent shaped tables with no empty docking points.
He would place distance between these crescents and ensure they were replete with all the necessary condiments (no leaning over to your neighbour for the salt). But he would pack in the numbers to avoid the sense of cavernous desolation. There would be the soul and individualism and a sense of exclusivity.
The wise entrepreneur would ensure the menu was exquisite (why bother otherwise) but comfortable (no forking a slice into a companions mouth with a "try this") and inexpensive (our "meh" threshold is low).
The tables would be fitted with wi-fi and the walls lined with books and pictures of obsessive, irascible high-achievers, like Isaac Newton. The service discreet. Tablecloths and silverware. Dim but not candlelit. Bustling but no waiting.
The idea, as stated at the outset, would be a disaster. Better off at home, of course. We crave solitude. We're a terrible target market for anything other than elasticated outerwear. It's self-evident.
The headline read "The King Of Soho Dining" but, perhaps with Freud on my shoulder, I read, The King Of Solo Dining.
Now there's an idea, I thought (only mildly miffed because, by dint of the article, it was already out there, earning column inches).
Solo dining. More particularly specialist establishments for same. What would such places look like? Who would they attract?
The crude entrepreneur untutored in the ways of the cheerily non-gregarious would perhaps configure the place like a networking event. Or operate a "dining partner by happenstance" policy.
He would see singles events. He would run happy hours and operate a gaudy menu of cocktails. He would run the place like a double-glazing convention in Sutton Coldfield.
The wise entrepreneur (me, inevitably, in this scenario) would make tables for one not tables for two-with-one-missing. Crescent shaped tables with no empty docking points.
He would place distance between these crescents and ensure they were replete with all the necessary condiments (no leaning over to your neighbour for the salt). But he would pack in the numbers to avoid the sense of cavernous desolation. There would be the soul and individualism and a sense of exclusivity.
The wise entrepreneur would ensure the menu was exquisite (why bother otherwise) but comfortable (no forking a slice into a companions mouth with a "try this") and inexpensive (our "meh" threshold is low).
The tables would be fitted with wi-fi and the walls lined with books and pictures of obsessive, irascible high-achievers, like Isaac Newton. The service discreet. Tablecloths and silverware. Dim but not candlelit. Bustling but no waiting.
The idea, as stated at the outset, would be a disaster. Better off at home, of course. We crave solitude. We're a terrible target market for anything other than elasticated outerwear. It's self-evident.
Thursday, 7 June 2012
Interview: Danny DeVito
Danny DeVito does not occupy much cubic footage. But the star has a fidgety energy that belies his frame and a New Joisey accent that parts crowds like a chainsaw.
Currently, DeVito is adding Willie Clark from Neil Simon's The Sunshine Boys to his roster of irascible, embittered blowhards, a list which includes Matilda's Mr Wormwood and Louie in Taxi.
He's a ball of fury on screen but a genial, good-humoured presence during our meeting. Which one's Danny?
He says: "In terms of being bombastic and crazy - I love that kind of thing. I see something that I feel needs to be taken care of and I say it.
"I'm not trying to win friends and influence people. If something's on my mind - I can be wrong, I'm not saying I'm invincible - but if someone's doing something to somebody that I don't think is right you gotta speak up. You could keep quiet but that's not my MO."
One of the things he speaks up about is the environment. ("I'm a green leftie, I drive a Leaf, I am totally behind what we have to do to clean up the mess we're making.")
So if you had turn Danny DeVito into a cartoon character he would surely have to be Dr Seuss's feisty The Lorax.
Which is handy because that's the animated movie DeVito is promoting at the MCM Expo in Excel where we're speaking. It's out in July.
He said: "They brought a drawing then it was like 'imagine your voice coming out of that it would be like a trip'. I am wild in this movie.
"The Lorax is a ball of fury. If you take a tree, plant a tree. Don't change the environment to the point where you're worried about mudslides. It's the simple things."
A lot of his humour, I suggest, comes from a very dark place. He says: "I like the banana peel, I love the slapstick - Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Three Stooges.
"There is a thing about comedy that lends itself to..." He does a whoosh-splash mime with his hand... "so I just take that and apply it to things like War Of The Roses, the absurdity of two people fighting over objects and it turns into a funny story where I get to kill the people.
"I like that. I enjoy the fact I was mean to Matilda."
Ahh, Matilda. The Roald Dahl favourite. And now playing to rave reviews in the West End. He loves that movie. So does he fancy a night out at the Cambridge?
He says: "This is a classic story about how you fight to get the movie made, the studio beats you down and makes you feel like wasting money and then all of a sudden the movie comes out halfway decent, every single kid in the world owns the movie and they make a lot of money.
"But I have no desire to go and see the play. I don't feel like I want to go there and look at somebody else doing it. I would pick it apart and be like - 'what? You did that?'"
AND THEN THERE WERE THREE
It's early days, but Danny DeVito is excited about the prospect of reuniting with his "twin" Arnold Schwarzenegger for a sequel to the 1988 comedy.
He joked: "Once you have the dinner, its a done deal. I went out with Arnold, there were a couple of agents there and the studio because once the studio wants it they'll string up your first born to make it happen.
"Then we tried to figure out what it would be. Somebody had an idea that maybe we should do triplets and who better to play a part than Eddie Murphy? We don't have a story but that's the idea. I'm looking forward to it."
Currently, DeVito is adding Willie Clark from Neil Simon's The Sunshine Boys to his roster of irascible, embittered blowhards, a list which includes Matilda's Mr Wormwood and Louie in Taxi.
He's a ball of fury on screen but a genial, good-humoured presence during our meeting. Which one's Danny?
He says: "In terms of being bombastic and crazy - I love that kind of thing. I see something that I feel needs to be taken care of and I say it.
"I'm not trying to win friends and influence people. If something's on my mind - I can be wrong, I'm not saying I'm invincible - but if someone's doing something to somebody that I don't think is right you gotta speak up. You could keep quiet but that's not my MO."
One of the things he speaks up about is the environment. ("I'm a green leftie, I drive a Leaf, I am totally behind what we have to do to clean up the mess we're making.")
So if you had turn Danny DeVito into a cartoon character he would surely have to be Dr Seuss's feisty The Lorax.
Which is handy because that's the animated movie DeVito is promoting at the MCM Expo in Excel where we're speaking. It's out in July.
He said: "They brought a drawing then it was like 'imagine your voice coming out of that it would be like a trip'. I am wild in this movie.
"The Lorax is a ball of fury. If you take a tree, plant a tree. Don't change the environment to the point where you're worried about mudslides. It's the simple things."
A lot of his humour, I suggest, comes from a very dark place. He says: "I like the banana peel, I love the slapstick - Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Three Stooges.
"There is a thing about comedy that lends itself to..." He does a whoosh-splash mime with his hand... "so I just take that and apply it to things like War Of The Roses, the absurdity of two people fighting over objects and it turns into a funny story where I get to kill the people.
"I like that. I enjoy the fact I was mean to Matilda."
Ahh, Matilda. The Roald Dahl favourite. And now playing to rave reviews in the West End. He loves that movie. So does he fancy a night out at the Cambridge?
He says: "This is a classic story about how you fight to get the movie made, the studio beats you down and makes you feel like wasting money and then all of a sudden the movie comes out halfway decent, every single kid in the world owns the movie and they make a lot of money.
"But I have no desire to go and see the play. I don't feel like I want to go there and look at somebody else doing it. I would pick it apart and be like - 'what? You did that?'"
AND THEN THERE WERE THREE
It's early days, but Danny DeVito is excited about the prospect of reuniting with his "twin" Arnold Schwarzenegger for a sequel to the 1988 comedy.
He joked: "Once you have the dinner, its a done deal. I went out with Arnold, there were a couple of agents there and the studio because once the studio wants it they'll string up your first born to make it happen.
"Then we tried to figure out what it would be. Somebody had an idea that maybe we should do triplets and who better to play a part than Eddie Murphy? We don't have a story but that's the idea. I'm looking forward to it."
Docks will become pageant hub
The waterways around Canary Wharf and east London will become a breath-taking floating spectacle next week.
From Wapping to London Bridge, a mile-long Avenue Of Sail will see 105 large vessels line the banks.
And West India Dock will become a hub for hundreds of motor craft that will be taking part in the £10.5million privately-funded Thames Diamond Jubilee Pageant on Sunday, June 3.
Pageant master Adrian Evans said: "London will never have seen its like."
The pageant itself, which begins at Battersea bridge, will come down river as far as Wapping but the vessels will head off into waters around Canary Wharf and Greenwich.
However, anyone hoping to view the dispersal beyond the Royal Docks is likely to be disappointed. The Thames Barrier will be closed for the day to stabilise the tide.
Mr Evans, pictured, said: "Things really start happening [next Thursday]. That's when the Avenue of Sail starts to build. This will be made up of 105 vessels too large to pass under London Bridge.
"We put down moorings on the mile from London Bridge on both sides of the river to Wapping so you'll get this fabulous vista tall masted vessel from London Bridge right through on to Wapping and there are all kinds - tall ships, Thames sailing barges, a Royal Navy minehunter, a whaler, a schooners, some steam tugs, a classic ocean racing yacht, there is even a Chinese junk.
"The Avenue of Sail also includes St Katherine's Dock - we're putting a dozen vessels in there."
Water taxis will buzz to and fro taking invited guests and crew to their vessels in a scene reminiscent of the heyday of the 18th century lightermen. In all, there will be 20,000 people in 1,000 vessels afloat during the pageant.
Mr Evans said: "On Thursday and Friday several hundred motorised vessels will be gathering in West India Dock which will be turned into a marshalling yard for boats.
They'll be coming from all over the country - historic vessels, barges, narrow boats, service vessels and so on.
"Whilst they're in West India Dock they'll be given the once-over by the Port of London Authority and the Marine and Coastguard Agency to make sure they pass safety checks and are appropriately ship-shaped and ready for the pageant.
"On Saturday morning they all leave to make their way to their mustering positions."
One of the showpiece vessels normally berthed in South Quay is notably absent. The Spirit Of Chartwell is undergoing a transformation to a royal barge fit for a Queen.
Mr Evans said: "She will look majestic dressed in the most exquisite detailed adornments which have taken months of work by some of our most talented craftsman including hand-sewn banner and superb prow sculpt, made by City and Guilds."
Mayor of London Boris Johnson said: "This is the biggest such flotilla for 300 years, a kind of Dunkirk except more successful and more cheerful."
Go to thamesdiamondjubileepageant.org for details of times and vantage points.
© First published in The Wharf, May 24, 2012
From Wapping to London Bridge, a mile-long Avenue Of Sail will see 105 large vessels line the banks.
And West India Dock will become a hub for hundreds of motor craft that will be taking part in the £10.5million privately-funded Thames Diamond Jubilee Pageant on Sunday, June 3.
Pageant master Adrian Evans said: "London will never have seen its like."
The pageant itself, which begins at Battersea bridge, will come down river as far as Wapping but the vessels will head off into waters around Canary Wharf and Greenwich.
However, anyone hoping to view the dispersal beyond the Royal Docks is likely to be disappointed. The Thames Barrier will be closed for the day to stabilise the tide.
Mr Evans, pictured, said: "Things really start happening [next Thursday]. That's when the Avenue of Sail starts to build. This will be made up of 105 vessels too large to pass under London Bridge.
"We put down moorings on the mile from London Bridge on both sides of the river to Wapping so you'll get this fabulous vista tall masted vessel from London Bridge right through on to Wapping and there are all kinds - tall ships, Thames sailing barges, a Royal Navy minehunter, a whaler, a schooners, some steam tugs, a classic ocean racing yacht, there is even a Chinese junk.
"The Avenue of Sail also includes St Katherine's Dock - we're putting a dozen vessels in there."
Water taxis will buzz to and fro taking invited guests and crew to their vessels in a scene reminiscent of the heyday of the 18th century lightermen. In all, there will be 20,000 people in 1,000 vessels afloat during the pageant.
Mr Evans said: "On Thursday and Friday several hundred motorised vessels will be gathering in West India Dock which will be turned into a marshalling yard for boats.
They'll be coming from all over the country - historic vessels, barges, narrow boats, service vessels and so on.
"Whilst they're in West India Dock they'll be given the once-over by the Port of London Authority and the Marine and Coastguard Agency to make sure they pass safety checks and are appropriately ship-shaped and ready for the pageant.
"On Saturday morning they all leave to make their way to their mustering positions."
One of the showpiece vessels normally berthed in South Quay is notably absent. The Spirit Of Chartwell is undergoing a transformation to a royal barge fit for a Queen.
Mr Evans said: "She will look majestic dressed in the most exquisite detailed adornments which have taken months of work by some of our most talented craftsman including hand-sewn banner and superb prow sculpt, made by City and Guilds."
Mayor of London Boris Johnson said: "This is the biggest such flotilla for 300 years, a kind of Dunkirk except more successful and more cheerful."
Go to thamesdiamondjubileepageant.org for details of times and vantage points.
© First published in The Wharf, May 24, 2012
What will happen to Athletes Village?
What Stuart Corbyn is attempting is not revolutionary and certainly not an "experiment", a suggestion he instantly rejects. In fact, he's insistent it's a return to business as usual in the property market, especially in London.
To observers who have grown up on property prices, mortgage spirals, nest-eggs and the cult of ownership, it may appear as verging on contrary.
Stuart Corbyn is the managing director of QDD, a partnership of Qatari Diar Real Estate Company and Delancey and, shortly after the Olympic Games, he will take control of the Athletes Village.
After a refit and a rebrand - to the East Village with its iconic E20 postcode - his company will begin to rent out apartments. Not sell. Rent. In the European mode - rental as a long-term, high quality deliberate option. Ownership of the community, ownership of a stake in the future but not ownership of the bricks and mortar.
He says people are ready for the change in mind-set and the joint venture he heads up is simply meeting pent-up demand in the market.
He told The Wharf: "If we were doing this 20 years ago it might have been a problem because the rental market was at such a low level but people have got very used to the concept now, particularly in London.
"Twenty-odd years ago it was impossible to rent - the private sector was very limited but people have moved on.
"It is not such an oddity. The oddity is the UK having such a low level of rental housing compared to the rest of the world. People get very hung up about it but it's very normal."
Not an experiment then, as suggested by architecture critic Jay Merrick during a session at Grand Designs Live at Excel recently.
"We don't normally experiment with the best part of half a billion pounds," responded Mr Corbyn, any bristling submerged beneath an effortless charm honed over years in the world of high end property.
He was chief executive of Cadogan Estates for 23 years until 2008 and was responsible for the resurgence of the Sloane area with its premium retail.
Jay also tackled a few points about the architectural gaucheness of "Elgin marble friezes" and "brick cassettes" but that's what architecture critics were vexed by and nothing to do with QDD, said Mr Corbyn. If fellow panellist Jonathan Kendall of architects Fletcher Priest bristled he did so covertly.
Mr Corbyn went on: "There is a very important point here and that is the assumption this is something new.
"Forty years ago a very substantial part of greater London was rental. The rental market before the first world war was 90 per cent and rental has been in gradual decline because of the amount of legislation - rental controls, security of tenure.
"We were at the bottom but since new legislation came in the amount of private rented sector has grown. What we're doing is making a choice available for people. An alternative.
"Our ambition is to give people an opportunity to rent for the long term. The idea is that people should be just as comfortable renting as they are owning their homes."
Comfortable. It's a baton of a word picked up and carried by Eliot Lipton. A tall, affable man, Mr Lipton is heading Triathlon's affordable housing half of East Village, a project that has its own high ideals, co-mingling private and social housing to create a cohesive community.
He set up First Base, an urban regeneration developer specialising in sustainable, high quality and affordable homes. First Base has linked with East Thames and Southern to be the triumvirate that is Triathlon.
Mr Lipton said: "What the design team have done here is very reflective of London as a whole. We want people to feel comfortable - they recognise it as distinct but they recognise it as part of London that they love, something they are familiar with. We have tried to create a place where people will want to live."
After the seminar he expanded on the theme to The Wharf.
He said: "QDD and Triathlon have been working to ensure that we have a community that works from Day One.
"We want residents to move in very early on from next year to feel at home straight away and we have a programme of activities that make them feel that way because we recognise an important part of finding a new home is the management and some of those community facilities."
Community and neighbourhood. Words that are peppered into the message from the two figureheads of East Village, the first of five estates that will take over the vast Olympic Park during the course of the next 20 years.
To take a trip in the East Village pod at Grand Design Live (as TV guru Kevin McCloud did) was to cycle - albeit virtually - through pathways lined with colourful summer flowers, alongside canals, through communal areas where families trip to and fro from shop, to grass, to sporting venue, to Westfield and back again.
Those connections to the traditional centres are vital. Across to the West End and City in minutes or back to "old" Stratford from where many of the new tenants will come.
I ask the question that is often asked of Canary Wharf: "East Village - friend or foe?"
Mr Lipton said: "Firstly, the scheme was designed so that it is part of the community it has a lot of bridges and connections whether they're into Newham or into Hackney. Accessibility and integration have been critical.
"Secondly, a very high proportion of Triathlon Homes will be reserved for the residents of Newham. So I hope we will make a positive contribution."
Mr Corbyn said: "As far as we are concerned, we will open our doors to anybody who wants to live there but it's not unnatural for people to stick to an area they know rather than move from the west."
The lessons have been learnt, so they say, of Canary Wharf which is still dogged by the reality and symbolism of an island.
Architect Jonathan Kendall, who has been working on the Stratford City project for a decade and whose work was subsumed into the Olympic circus, recalls a strict message from Newham Borough Council.
He said: "One of the interesting directions we had from Newham was not to be Canary Wharf.
"This place needed to have a different relationship to its surroundings. Hopefully, over time it will become something that is embedded in the community."
Pictured: From left, Stuart Corbyn of partnership QDD, Eliot Lipton, of Triathlon, and Jonathan Kendall, director of architect Fletcher Priest
FACTFILE
■ East Village will be run by QDD (a joint venture between Qatari Diar Real Estate Company and Delancey) and Triathlon Homes (a joint venture between First Base, East Thames Group and Southern Housing Group).
■ The new neighbourhood will initially deliver 2,818 new homes - of which 1,439 will be private and mainly available for rent, while the remaining 1,379 will be affordable offering the choice of buying or renting.
■ A range of properties will be available - from one-bedroom apartments to three and four-bed family homes.
■ QDD will create the first ever private sector residential investment fund of more than 1,000 homes.
■ For the affordable homes, 675 will be available as social rent and there is a lettings strategy covering how these will be allocated. An additional 700 homes will be for intermediate market rent and shared ownership.
■ Approximately half of the homes will be for people in the borough of Newham, although some will also be available for people in other host boroughs.
■ Facilities include: Chobham Academy which will offer 1,800 places for students aged three-19; a state-of-the-art medical centre; world class sporting and leisure facilities; 30 shops, cafes and restaurants, and access to the venues of the Olympic Park.
Go to eastvillagelondon.co.uk
© First published in The Wharf, May 2012
To observers who have grown up on property prices, mortgage spirals, nest-eggs and the cult of ownership, it may appear as verging on contrary.
Stuart Corbyn is the managing director of QDD, a partnership of Qatari Diar Real Estate Company and Delancey and, shortly after the Olympic Games, he will take control of the Athletes Village.
After a refit and a rebrand - to the East Village with its iconic E20 postcode - his company will begin to rent out apartments. Not sell. Rent. In the European mode - rental as a long-term, high quality deliberate option. Ownership of the community, ownership of a stake in the future but not ownership of the bricks and mortar.
He says people are ready for the change in mind-set and the joint venture he heads up is simply meeting pent-up demand in the market.
He told The Wharf: "If we were doing this 20 years ago it might have been a problem because the rental market was at such a low level but people have got very used to the concept now, particularly in London.
"Twenty-odd years ago it was impossible to rent - the private sector was very limited but people have moved on.
"It is not such an oddity. The oddity is the UK having such a low level of rental housing compared to the rest of the world. People get very hung up about it but it's very normal."
Not an experiment then, as suggested by architecture critic Jay Merrick during a session at Grand Designs Live at Excel recently.
"We don't normally experiment with the best part of half a billion pounds," responded Mr Corbyn, any bristling submerged beneath an effortless charm honed over years in the world of high end property.
He was chief executive of Cadogan Estates for 23 years until 2008 and was responsible for the resurgence of the Sloane area with its premium retail.
Jay also tackled a few points about the architectural gaucheness of "Elgin marble friezes" and "brick cassettes" but that's what architecture critics were vexed by and nothing to do with QDD, said Mr Corbyn. If fellow panellist Jonathan Kendall of architects Fletcher Priest bristled he did so covertly.
Mr Corbyn went on: "There is a very important point here and that is the assumption this is something new.
"Forty years ago a very substantial part of greater London was rental. The rental market before the first world war was 90 per cent and rental has been in gradual decline because of the amount of legislation - rental controls, security of tenure.
"We were at the bottom but since new legislation came in the amount of private rented sector has grown. What we're doing is making a choice available for people. An alternative.
"Our ambition is to give people an opportunity to rent for the long term. The idea is that people should be just as comfortable renting as they are owning their homes."
Comfortable. It's a baton of a word picked up and carried by Eliot Lipton. A tall, affable man, Mr Lipton is heading Triathlon's affordable housing half of East Village, a project that has its own high ideals, co-mingling private and social housing to create a cohesive community.
He set up First Base, an urban regeneration developer specialising in sustainable, high quality and affordable homes. First Base has linked with East Thames and Southern to be the triumvirate that is Triathlon.
Mr Lipton said: "What the design team have done here is very reflective of London as a whole. We want people to feel comfortable - they recognise it as distinct but they recognise it as part of London that they love, something they are familiar with. We have tried to create a place where people will want to live."
After the seminar he expanded on the theme to The Wharf.
He said: "QDD and Triathlon have been working to ensure that we have a community that works from Day One.
"We want residents to move in very early on from next year to feel at home straight away and we have a programme of activities that make them feel that way because we recognise an important part of finding a new home is the management and some of those community facilities."
Community and neighbourhood. Words that are peppered into the message from the two figureheads of East Village, the first of five estates that will take over the vast Olympic Park during the course of the next 20 years.
To take a trip in the East Village pod at Grand Design Live (as TV guru Kevin McCloud did) was to cycle - albeit virtually - through pathways lined with colourful summer flowers, alongside canals, through communal areas where families trip to and fro from shop, to grass, to sporting venue, to Westfield and back again.
Those connections to the traditional centres are vital. Across to the West End and City in minutes or back to "old" Stratford from where many of the new tenants will come.
I ask the question that is often asked of Canary Wharf: "East Village - friend or foe?"
Mr Lipton said: "Firstly, the scheme was designed so that it is part of the community it has a lot of bridges and connections whether they're into Newham or into Hackney. Accessibility and integration have been critical.
"Secondly, a very high proportion of Triathlon Homes will be reserved for the residents of Newham. So I hope we will make a positive contribution."
Mr Corbyn said: "As far as we are concerned, we will open our doors to anybody who wants to live there but it's not unnatural for people to stick to an area they know rather than move from the west."
The lessons have been learnt, so they say, of Canary Wharf which is still dogged by the reality and symbolism of an island.
Architect Jonathan Kendall, who has been working on the Stratford City project for a decade and whose work was subsumed into the Olympic circus, recalls a strict message from Newham Borough Council.
He said: "One of the interesting directions we had from Newham was not to be Canary Wharf.
"This place needed to have a different relationship to its surroundings. Hopefully, over time it will become something that is embedded in the community."
Pictured: From left, Stuart Corbyn of partnership QDD, Eliot Lipton, of Triathlon, and Jonathan Kendall, director of architect Fletcher Priest
FACTFILE
■ East Village will be run by QDD (a joint venture between Qatari Diar Real Estate Company and Delancey) and Triathlon Homes (a joint venture between First Base, East Thames Group and Southern Housing Group).
■ The new neighbourhood will initially deliver 2,818 new homes - of which 1,439 will be private and mainly available for rent, while the remaining 1,379 will be affordable offering the choice of buying or renting.
■ A range of properties will be available - from one-bedroom apartments to three and four-bed family homes.
■ QDD will create the first ever private sector residential investment fund of more than 1,000 homes.
■ For the affordable homes, 675 will be available as social rent and there is a lettings strategy covering how these will be allocated. An additional 700 homes will be for intermediate market rent and shared ownership.
■ Approximately half of the homes will be for people in the borough of Newham, although some will also be available for people in other host boroughs.
■ Facilities include: Chobham Academy which will offer 1,800 places for students aged three-19; a state-of-the-art medical centre; world class sporting and leisure facilities; 30 shops, cafes and restaurants, and access to the venues of the Olympic Park.
Go to eastvillagelondon.co.uk
© First published in The Wharf, May 2012
What's going to happen to the Olympic Park?
It's pouring down. We're sheltering in a food and drink concession in the shadow of the Orbit. The canvas roof is pounding with rain that puddles at our feet.
Tricky climate then for Andrew Altman to paint a picture of what's to come. Still, he gives it a go.
The chief executive of the London Legacy Development Corporation (a "government in exile") says: "You can imagine people will be able to sit out on the lawn, look at the Orbit, look at the stadium.
"There's going to be a permanent cafe, shop, a restaurant, you'll be able to sit out on the roof but in a public space. You think about the Serpentine gallery - we should want that in east London.
"In these landscaped rooms that we're going to create, each one is going to be very different - some will have an amphitheatre where there will be small concerts, some will be a kids' play area, one will be a splash pool. We want it to be fun for families."
But that's looking ahead to Easter 2014 when the retro-fitting has been complete, the temporary Olympic venues removed, the park transformed and transferred.
What he's keen to share with us is this: He and his team have taken a decision to set a tough deadline of a year after Games, July 2013, to begin re-opening the park in phases, North Park first.
He says: "Our programme is to get it open as quickly as we can, get it open from North to South, get it open from a year after the Games, from July 2013 till Easter 2014, phased re-opening, get people in the park so they can enjoy it.
"The easy decision would be to say you'll open the park in 2014, give yourself a lot of time, reopen the whole thing, when you've worked everything out but that's not really right.
"People are anxious to get on the park. We want to keep that memory, that excitement alive."
He doesn't want the park to slip from people's minds, become a thing over there to which they're not invited.
"You're not going to have the density of people to use the park right away, to make it active and feel alive. So we're going to have to do a lot to get people in here and feel like it's their park."
London Assembly member John Biggs agrees with the concern, if not the length of the entire project.
He said: "I understand they've got to take down a few bridges and structures but there's a risk the Olympic buzz will have faded away in two years' time. These engineers serve us and people should have a chance to enjoy the park. If the Olympics are to have a legacy, people need access to the park."
If Andrew Altman worries about anything, it is this. He said: "The first years of the park are key. If it's just a passive park, fine, it's nice, but it won't work.
"We've got to get people into this park. Truthfully, it's going to be through giving people stuff to do.
"We'll open up the North Park a year after Games, have people come out, have London's greatest picnic which will happen over that summer.
"The North Park is like a river valley. Quiet, beautifully landscaped, a place where people can sit out, have a picnic, kick a ball about."
If it's not raining.
Tricky climate then for Andrew Altman to paint a picture of what's to come. Still, he gives it a go.
The chief executive of the London Legacy Development Corporation (a "government in exile") says: "You can imagine people will be able to sit out on the lawn, look at the Orbit, look at the stadium.
"There's going to be a permanent cafe, shop, a restaurant, you'll be able to sit out on the roof but in a public space. You think about the Serpentine gallery - we should want that in east London.
"In these landscaped rooms that we're going to create, each one is going to be very different - some will have an amphitheatre where there will be small concerts, some will be a kids' play area, one will be a splash pool. We want it to be fun for families."
But that's looking ahead to Easter 2014 when the retro-fitting has been complete, the temporary Olympic venues removed, the park transformed and transferred.
What he's keen to share with us is this: He and his team have taken a decision to set a tough deadline of a year after Games, July 2013, to begin re-opening the park in phases, North Park first.
He says: "Our programme is to get it open as quickly as we can, get it open from North to South, get it open from a year after the Games, from July 2013 till Easter 2014, phased re-opening, get people in the park so they can enjoy it.
"The easy decision would be to say you'll open the park in 2014, give yourself a lot of time, reopen the whole thing, when you've worked everything out but that's not really right.
"People are anxious to get on the park. We want to keep that memory, that excitement alive."
He doesn't want the park to slip from people's minds, become a thing over there to which they're not invited.
"You're not going to have the density of people to use the park right away, to make it active and feel alive. So we're going to have to do a lot to get people in here and feel like it's their park."
London Assembly member John Biggs agrees with the concern, if not the length of the entire project.
He said: "I understand they've got to take down a few bridges and structures but there's a risk the Olympic buzz will have faded away in two years' time. These engineers serve us and people should have a chance to enjoy the park. If the Olympics are to have a legacy, people need access to the park."
If Andrew Altman worries about anything, it is this. He said: "The first years of the park are key. If it's just a passive park, fine, it's nice, but it won't work.
"We've got to get people into this park. Truthfully, it's going to be through giving people stuff to do.
"We'll open up the North Park a year after Games, have people come out, have London's greatest picnic which will happen over that summer.
"The North Park is like a river valley. Quiet, beautifully landscaped, a place where people can sit out, have a picnic, kick a ball about."
If it's not raining.
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