FILM
John Carter
(12A) 131mins
★★★✩✩
IN A NUTSHELL
The right people will learn to love this ambitious but flawed epic based on the daddy of many sci fi tropes.
REVIEW
A lot of bad things will be said about Disney's $250million epic sci fi adventure.
Most of the bad things will be true but they don't necessarily add up to a bad movie.
The bad elements are frontloaded, like a sampler dish, so you can follow their horribleness through the rest of the film.
They are: the bad acting (oh, Dominic West - why?), the ghastly post production 3D, the convoluted geopolitics, the confused motivations, and the lack of charm and magic.
The story is taken from a series of early 20th century novels from Edgar Rice Burroughs (who makes a fictional appearance). He also created Tarzan so is adept at the monosyllabic hero (and what a thundering dunce is John Carter).
But let's not escape the fact that, from inauspicious beginnings, this film has legs and, in the case of the Tharks, many, many arms.
It is lovingly crafted with immense attention to detail by director Andrew Stanton (Wall.E), the visuals are superb and the story somewhere along its 131 minute length, starts to have traction - generally when superstition gives way to spectacle.
This Boy's Own tale (filmed in stereoscope by the looks of the 3D) sees the Civil War veteran sent hurtling to Mars where he lands in the middle of multiple conflicts between the Tharks, Zodangans, Heliumites and Therns.
His super strength makes him something of a trophy and the beautiful princess Dejah Thoris - pledged to Sab Than (West) for political purposes - sees the grizzled Earthman as a useful ally in her one-woman rebellion.
There is something of a drinking game to be had in spotting the derivations from classic screen sci fi.
Star Wars, obviously. Cowboys And Aliens, conceptually. Superman for the jumping, Indiana Jones for the dusty relics and glyphs, Star Trek for the dry, rocky planet stuff, Avatar for the tall CGI aliens, Dune for the politics, Lord Of The Rings for the battles. All a tad ungrateful, perhaps, considering Burroughs' series was arguably the daddy to many of them.
The one that sticks with me is Flash Gordon because of the portentous camp and boyish galumping. That John Carter is played by someone called Taylor Kitsch seems deliciously appropriate.
